Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

From my personal experience, I've found that overcoming Imposter Syndrome comes with personal and professional change. It's uncomfortable, but it's doable.

I really felt it when I found myself micromanaged and patronised by others (even though I knew what I was doing). It took months to find coping strategies that would put my self-esteem back together. A lot of the so-called soul searching came with wallowing in self pity. However, I found the right strategy; one that prepared me to forgo self-sabotage and learn how to focus on my potential instead.

Aside from that, from one pretend colleague to another, we're about to unpack the very thing that tugs at our mental health, especially at the office.

Hello Anxiety

Imposter Syndrome

Here's the scenario: A day in the life.

You've woken up one morning and realised, it's just another day. You've checked your phone but forgot to look at the time. Despite skipping breakfast, you greet your pet and out you go.

While you sit in traffic, you realise your team are presenting to a big client. The nerves kick in and so do your intrusive thoughts. What's a guy to do?

Some of your colleagues are hyped and ready, but you're busy running through the endless notes that you've checked a million times. You believe that you're going to mess it up and no one will want to bring you into another meeting. Besides, even if your presentation was a success, there's that feeling or belief that you didn't contribute enough or work hard enough; unless told otherwise.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter Syndrome is a term used to describe someone who feels like a fraud in their everyday life. What makes us feel this way is unknown, but I believe it could be attributed to our environment, people we surround ourselves with and/or life experiences. The first thought that comes to mind is, "I don't understand, so I must be stupid" or "how come things come so easy to others."There's something unsettling about feeling incapable around the very people who (for instance) think you're doing great.

As Chandler bing would say, "Could I BE anymore of a failure."

Types of Imposter Syndrome

According to a Forbes article, there are different types of Imposter Syndrome.

1. The perfectionist You're someone who holds themself to high standards, yet still believe that you could do better.
   

2. The expert You're someone who wants to know everything so that you're not thought of as unintelligent.
   

3. The natural genius You're someone who gets things done with great ease, yet feel embarrassed when you have to take more time on tasks that you don't understand.
   

4. The soloist You're someone who feels the need to constantly work on your own, because if you ask someone for help, you think they will see it as a sign of incompetence.
   

5. The superhuman You're someone who feels guilty when you want to take on more than you can handle but fall short.

The psychological phenomena demonstrates the following feelings that some of us know all too well:

• You doubt yourself.

• You think you're not fit for the job despite being qualified.

• You compare yourself to others

• You downplay your abilities.

• You believe others have an exaggerated view of what you can or cannot do.

Well, if that doesn't sound familiar then I don't know what does. That feeling of wanting to do your very best and making it to the top feels unattainable in your mind. It's like some sort of mind game but no one wins.

The one thing I can relate to is trying to overachieve in many aspects of my life (Superhuman trait). I would volunteer for things and go the extra mile without hesitation. It didn't get me very far in the way of earning anyone's respect. And as far as the office is concerned; you go to work, you clock out at 17:00 and you go home. That's the idea anyway.

For me, it was always in my nature to do more than what I was asked so that people would like me and that they could rely on me. Boy, did I learn a lot of things; in fact, I made it worse for myself. I ended up seriously burnt out.

My coping strategy now is to do what I need to do.

How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome is not an easy feat. You feel like one person for many years and then you have to try let go of that person, only to function like a newborn.

In 2023, I was fortunate enough to travel and focus on my pregnancy. I feel confident and happy about myself because I'm not constantly worrying about mistakes or feel inferior to others. I didn't realise how much I.S impacted my life before and after my pregnancy.

If you're unsure of how to combat this little black cloud hanging over your head then keep reading.

5 recommended tips on how to overcome Imposter Syndrome.

1. Learn to be Present

If you can, try be in the moment (stay present). When issues or feelings arise, learn to recognise them as they happen.

2. Be Objective

When you're telling yourself you're not good enough, try find proof that suggests such a thought. Sometimes, it's a good idea to look at things objectively.

3. Reframe Your Mindset

Look at Imposter Syndrome as an opportunity to learn new things.

4. Look Back at Your Achievements

Remind yourself that you've accomplished things before. Jot down all of your success stories and revisit them from time to time.

5. Talk About It

Hearing from someone else's point-of-view works wonders. It really helps if you talk to someone who is impartial.

Summary

All in all, I don't smoke anymore and I'm trying to focus on what I can achieve with what I have and with what I know. It might not be much, but as I reflect on the last year to where I am now, there's a lot to be grateful for.

Trying to overcome Imposter Syndrome will take time because that's all you know, or at least that's what it wants you to think. Most of the time it's our insecurities and expectations that warp reality. But, it's not always what it seems.

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